


Spirit Impelled

by BBirdy



Series: Soul Bound [3]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir Needs a Hug, Angst, Bad Parent Gabriel Agreste, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Hawk Moth is Gabriel Agreste, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mentioned Alya Césaire and Nino Lahiffe, Mentioned Emilie Agreste, Pain, Past Mpreg, Plagg Cares (Miraculous Ladybug), Protective Plagg (Miraculous Ladybug), Secrets, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:27:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26649793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BBirdy/pseuds/BBirdy
Summary: Adrien swallowed hard. "Please. Don't leave me alone.""I have to," Plagg struggled with his own rising emotion. "I have to go. I don't want to. The last thing I want to do is to hurt you. You have to know that by now. You're, you're the best miraculous holder I've ever had.""Then why are you leaving me?""Because if I stay I will hurt you.""You're too late."Prequel to "The Binding Of Souls"
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Plagg, Plagg/Tikki (Miraculous Ladybug)
Series: Soul Bound [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1769287
Comments: 17
Kudos: 46





	1. Part One

Adrien knew he only had a short time. Taking the stairs up to his room he gathered whatever he could reach. 

From his pocket, the green eyes blinked impishly. "Can you, do you want to talk?"

He shook his head sharply. 

"Can I talk?"

Adrien didn't protest, sinking to his knees. "It's not fair," he whispered. "This isn't fair. They said they'd keep it until I could sell it myself."

"The funeral," Plagg reminded gently. 

"I know." Adrien took a deep breath, forcing himself to steady. 

Plagg tried to prod a smile out of him. "Why don't you wait for your friends to go through your room. You can give them all the things you want to. You'll like that."

It did manage to lift a corner of his mouth. "But what else would I clean out?"

"You could try some of the guest rooms?"

Adrien's face turned to stone. "No. I'm going to go through my father's study."

Plagg blanched. "I don't think you're allowed to. The police-"

"Since when have you cared what the police say?" Adrien was up on his feet, storming down the dim halls. He'd never known his childhood home to be so dusty, though the quiet was something he'd grown used to. After nearly two years without anyone paid to do upkeep, it really had fallen into disrepair. As he marched down the hall he passed wires where paintings had once hung, places where the carpet where still sung where furniture had gone. 

"Wow, this place has gone downhill," Plagg tutted, keeping up with Arien, even clinging to his collar. 

Adrien didn't answer. "You have the estate sale to thank for that."

The estate sale. Once the house had been left the government had stepped in, making an open house to anyone with a deep enough wallet. Out of respect for the only remaining Agreste, Adrien's room had been left mostly untouched. 

The memory of his friends standing in front of his bedroom door with arms closed and eyes alight still brought on a soft smile. 

" _Still_ ," Plagg shook his head dismissively.

The pair paused in front of the massive office door. Instinct demanded Adrien knock. But, glancing toward the empty space where Nathalie's desk had once been reminded him again of how much had changed. 

With a deep breath, Adrien pushed the door open. 

His father's study. 

Peering around the door Plagg made a face. "Ugh, it still smells like _him_ in here."

Adrien plucked the kwami from his shoulder, looking him in the eyes. "Plagg."

"Am I being annoying again?"

This hadn't been a question he'd ever asked before the last two years they'd just had. 

Taking yet another soul-deep sigh Adrien placed him atop his head. "No," Adrien admitted. "I really don't know what I'd do without you here, Plagg. I would've lost it a long time ago."

"Aw, shucks," the kwami crooned obnoxiously. 

Adrien smiled. 

Hands tucked in his pockets he walked around the room. The estate sale had taken the desk, most of the more abstract art around the room, and all but the stiffest of chairs. 

"When was the last time you were in here anyway?" Plagg walked across the blonde hair, peering into dark corners. 

"The night… the night of the arrest," Adrien whispered. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Plagg prodded. This was the most he'd gotten Adrien to say in days. Just hearing the boy's voice was something of a relief. Words were harder to pull out than smiles, though those were taking ever more effort. 

"What is there to talk about?" Inertia had Adrien on his feet, rounding the room, a hand brushing the wallpaper. "The evidence, it was all there. We watched him detransform. He didn't even fight once he was tied up. He won't see anyone, he can't. And he still won't confess. So all they can do is keep him locked away."

Eyes closed all he could see was his father, his primly dressed, flat tempered father, snarling and thin, dressed in prison jumpsuit orange. He wouldn't even _look_ at Adrien. 

"You won't talk to anyone anymore," Plagg tucked himself into Adrien's pocket again, if only to see his face. "Nino, is getting worried. And you will have to go back to school eventually."

"I'll be going to the public school by the group home," Adrien paused before a small picture or more accurately, the broken frame of a picture on the wall. It was about the size of a book. 

The home. The place Adrien had been living for the past two years, ever since his father had been arrested and his mother had been found. 

"have you been making any friends there?" Plagg asked gently. "I know the one kid in the bunk above you has been talking with you more, Snot wasn't it?"

Adrien poked at him good-naturedly. "Stot. He's nice enough. But I'll miss everyone else."

"Yeah," Plagg sunk lower, watching Adrien's face falling. 

Running stray fingers over the frame of the broken photo Adrien tried to see past the spiderweb cracks, figure out what it had once been. 

The pressure, infinitesimal in comparison, pushed against something. Somewhere behind the wood frame, something clicked, and it swung forward.

"Whoa!" Plagg sat up, gripping the edge of his pocket. 

Plae and frozen Adrien used numb fingers to reach inside. 

There, only one thing, a broach, pale wings over a swirling purple bead. 

"Hawkmoth's kwami," Adrien breathed. 

Plagg moved faster than he could react. Snatching up the charm he pinned it to Adrien's collar. 

"What are you doing?" Pawing at his shirt Adrien was too late, watching in silent horror as a small purple creature came into view. 

He took several quick steps backward. "Plagg!"

Plagg was entirely oblivious, launching himself toward the other kwami. "Nooroo!" he shouted. 

Frozen in place Adrien squinted. Plagg was _hugging_ them. Gaping absently drain tried to find his voice. Why, _why_ would he be hugging them? They had to answer for the harm they'd caused. This kwami, this Nooroo, had to be held responsible… didn't they?

Before Adrien could recover his voice Nooroo burst into tears. "Plagg. Plagg I'm so sorry. I can't believe you're here. Where is he? Where is-" he stopped dead, gaze landing on Adrien. "Plagg, we have to go. Gabriel's son can't see me. He won't understand."

Plagg shook him. "Nooroo. you've got to breathe. Adrien is my Chat Noir."

Nooroo eyes became pinpricks in his head. Still glazed with tears he shook his head. "I'm so sorry. But you have to know. Gabriel Agreste is Hawkmoth."

"I know," Adrien spoke, hearing his voice come as if from the end of a long stone tunnel.

"You… what?"

Arms crossed firmly over his chest Adrien repeated himself. "I know," he whispered. 

Nooroo turned his attention back. "Plagg. What's happened?"

"Gabriel is in prison. We already found out."

"But, but he was looking so hard for the other miraculouses."

"Why?" Again Adrien heard himself as if from a great distance. "Why did he do this? He hasn't said a word since he was arrested. He won't talk to Nathalie or the police or even me. He can't even look at me. The police tore this whole house apart looking for a reason. He had my mother in a box. They took me to a home. They had to sell off my things to pay for her funeral. And all this time he just hid her from me, from everyone. _Why_?" The last word came as a near scream, frustration bleeding through.

Plagg had a hand across his mouth. 

Nooroo swallowed hard. "He wanted the miraculouses because-"

"Maybe you shouldn't," Plagg whispered. 

"He doesn't know?"

"He's just a kid Nooroo."

"I've been through enough," Adrien's hollow sorrow tugged at Plagg's heart. 

He turned away. "Tell him Nooroo."

Nooroo floated only feet away from Adrien, his own terror written in every twitch, every nervous breathy word. "He wanted the miraculouses because, when worn together, the ring and earrings can give someone near absolute power. He wanted to heal your mother, to bring her back to life."

The world was falling away. Adrien couldn't feel his legs. "What?" he breathed. "I could've, he wanted to…"

Nooroo tried helplessly to comfort, at a loss for words. 

Adrien lifted a hand to his chest. For one startling second Nooroo was sure he would rip the broach from his shirt, only to hear the low grunt of pain. Face screwed tight Adrien held to a place above his heart, nails dug into his shirt. Confusion mixed with pain as he teetered on unsteady feet. 

Norro whipped around to find Plagg, aching and shaking, his own small arms held tight around him. 

"Plagg!" Nooroo yelped.

"What was that?" Adrien wavered. 

"We should get out of this room," Nooroo tried to placate. 

Frustrated and struggling to comprehend this new pain Adrien shook his head. there were tears in his eyes now. He'd reached his breaking point. He was _done_. "I can't take any more secrets," he pleaded. "No more. Plagg."

The kwami dropped his head. "It's not easy to explain Adrien."

"Like the fact my father was a super villian?"

Nooroo gestured him to a chair making sure Adrien's trembling frame was set first. "Plagg needs to explain," he said softly. "He will explain. But you need to be calm with him. Okay? I'll come back once you've had a chance to clear the air." The little creature placed a gentle kiss atop his head. 

It was more a comfort than Adrien thought it would be. It was an apology for the pain caused, his best effort. 

Tears still pricking at his eyes Adrien swallowed his anger. "I don't blame you," he whispered. 

"I'm sure your mother would be very _proud_ of you," Nooroo whispered. "She wouldn't want the things done to bring her back that way. You've set her free. Letting her go is the best you can do."

Something throbbed underneath his ribcage. "Thank you."

Hovering above Adrien's pocket Nooroo removed the little pin and vanished into thin air. 

Adrien lifted his knees to his chest, settling into the stiff couch. 

With only a moment of silence, Plagg landed on the cushion beside him. 

"We'll have to take him to Ladybug," Adrien said, unsure why, but wanting to avoid whatever thing Plagg had to speak. He needed to know, wanted to know, but the blank look on the familiar little face, struck him in a way he didn't like. "We'll need to figure out a story."

"Maybe, maybe you should hold onto him for a while," Plagg spoke hesitantly, a crack in the words only held above a whisper. 

"What?"

Plagg fell into yet another silence. 

Something was wrong. Adrien could feel the apprehension as if it were his own. Lying on his side, curled up around him, making a wall of his thin frame Adrien poked at him. "Talk to me. I need you to talk to me. You're all I've got anymore."

"That's not true," Plagg lifted his head, offering a soft smile. 

"Yes it is," Adrien's own face dropped further. 

"You're thinking about her again."

Turning to lie on his back Adrien hung his legs over the arm of the chair. "You can tell?"

"You always get the same look on your face," Plagg tried to tease, climbing atop his chest. 

Of all the people to help Adrien through the last few months, Adrien never would have thought Plagg capable. 

Teasing and sometimes beyond annoying his thorn in the side kwami had sobered, his humor kept at a minimum. 

Maybe they were more connected than he thought.

"I just wish I could really _talk_ to her," his voice dropped to a whisper, a habit becoming increasingly more concerning to his little companion. Keeping Plagg a secret had always been important. Sharing a room with half a dozen other orphaned and fostered boys his age had left Adrien with the instinct to quiet whenever he spoke. He'd drawn in on himself. 

"I know," Plagg curled next to his cheek. 

Adrien stroked the tiny head with a finger. 

It was a motion that had become something of a comfort to the pair of them. 

Without the fancy cheeses and life Plagg had become used to he was grumpy, and hungry, more often than not. Still, he tried to keep positive for Adrien. 

But Adrien just liked having something to hold onto. 

"Adrien…?"

"Hmm?"

"You know you still have your friends, right? Nino and Alya and Marinette and everyone. They still care about you."

"I hardly ever see them and without a phone…" Adrien trailed away. No phone. No way to talk to anyone. A new school. He saw his best friends maybe once or twice a week at most. "I'm just grateful to have you, to be Chat Noir still. Even if the fighting is few and far between, and Ladybug still can't know."

"Adrien," Plagg tried again. 

"Hmm?" Eyes closed Adrien didn't catch the worry in the kwami's tone. 

"I, I'll have to- I have to go."

Adrien's heart _stopped_. 


	2. Part Two

"What?" 

Sat back up Plagg flew backward, waiting for anger, for a shout or a scream. 

Propping himself up on his elbow Adrien could only summon numb terror. "No. Plagg. Did I do something wrong?"

"No," Plagg held up his hands.

"Is it Hawkmoth being gone? Can't you just stay for a little longer?"

"It's more complicated than all that," Plagg landed on his hand. 

Adrien swallowed hard. "You know you can tell me anything. Please. Don't leave me."

"I have to," Plagg struggled with his own rising emotion, clinging to his hand. "I have to go. I don't want to. The last thing I want to do is to hurt you. You have to know that by now. You're, you're the best miraculous holder I've ever had."

"Then why are you leaving me?"

"Because if I stay I _ will  _ hurt you. That pain you felt, while we were talking to Nooroo, it will keep happening. But if I draw away then it'll only be mine. We can't be connected while it all happens. It never ends well."

Adrien's brows met. "What are you talking about? When what happens?"

"The soul bond," Plagg sat atop Adrien's knees, head dropped. "Every few hundred years, when my power has been used enough, the universe demands balance. And sometimes, sometimes Tikki's healing can only fix so much. There's been too much damage done by kwami's and I have to even out the score, settle the scales."

"I don't understand," Adrien shook his head, drawing up his knees, curling his arms around them. "What do you have to do?"

"I have to bring new life into the world."

"What?"

"I need to have a baby."

Adrien's mouth dropped to a small  _ o _ . "You have to, to be pregnant?"

"It's a little more complicated than all that. To put it simply, yeah, I do. How do you think we have all these other kwamis?"

Taking a short moment to process Adrien blinked. "So Nooroo and all the other kwamis they, they're your kids?"

Plagg perked a little, his smile almost too small to see. "Mine and Tikki's, yes."

"Tikki?"

Eying the boy Plagg rolled his eyes sarcastically. "I would think you were taught about the birds and the bees Adrien."

Only managing to hide a laugh behind a soft cough a more startling realization arose. "Wait, do you have to, to have-"

"Ew no!" Plagg threw his hands over his ears. "Nothing like that. We're not humans. We're kwamis. We go through something called a soul bond. Where the energy we hold meets. It makes a spark and brings out something new. It clings to me to develop a physical form. And when they arrive we bind it to an object to keep them on this plane of existence."

"Whoa…" Adrien whispered, before his face dropped all over again. "But why do you have to go because of all that? If I'll feel a little pain I don't mind it. You can stay. I can help take care of you, make sure you're eating and whatever else you need."

Plagg patted his cheek. "You're a sweet kid, Adrien."

"Don't patronize me," Adrien frowned, worry written in every line of his face. "Just tell me."

Sighing softly Plagg sat back. "I-" 

They both froze, the cramp building up Adrien's spine. He cried out, leaning against the back of the chair, fingers digging into the thick fabric. 

"Adrien!" Plagg lifted himself up. 

Sinking back Adrien panted for air, eyes pressed shut. "That wasn't like before. That was worse."

"I have to go soon," Plagg spun in quick circles. "Adrien, listen to me. The reason I can't say is because if we're connected then you have to take on my responsibility."

Still breathing hard Adrien tried to focus on him. "I have to… have a kwami?" he didn't fully understand how that would work exactly, and the aftershock of that pain was still rippling through each nerve. 

"No," Plagg held to him. "You have to have a  _ human baby. _ "

And then Adrien did the last thing Plagg ever expected from him. His face lit with an unearthly joy. "Really?"

"This isn't a good thing," Plagg said flatly. 

"Isn't it?" Adrien pushed himself up. "I mean sure, carrying a baby would be a bit out of the ordinary-"

"Out of the- Adrien!" Plagg sputtered. "I could never ask you to do this for me. You're still a child yourself. It's too much. You can' have a baby."

Shaking his head, trying to wave away any concern Adrien continued to smile brightly. "You're not asking me. I'm volunteering. I want to. And I'll be eighteen next year. I'll have access to my trust fund, to the money from the house sale and item sale. I'll have everything A baby could ever want or need. I could even get a nice house outside the city so they'd have room to run around!"

Plagg sighed loudly, terror eating away at him. He should have thought more about how to tell the kid. "Adrien. This isn't something you can just sign up for out of nowhere. In the end, you'll have a living breathing human kid! You can't just buy those at the grocery store!"

Adrien nodded firmly, plucking Plagg off his ear and sitting down on the icy ground. "I know," he said firmly. "But I've thought about it."

"I told you three minutes ago."

"I will think about it," Adrien retracted. "But just out of the gate I mean… it's the chance for a family, even a little bit of a family."

"Kids aren't bandaid for your parents not being here."

Adrien's grin slid away, turning stony. "Plagg. I'm not a little kid. I'm not going into this completely stupid or blind. I know this isn't a band-aid. I don't want them to be. But right now I don't have a future. No one will ever want the kid of a supervillain. My friends hardly talk to me anymore. And once I'm eighteen I'll have all the fortune my parents and my father's company left behind, and any ad revenue from my modeling. I'll have the means to spoil this kid rotten. And, and I want them."

There was a fragile softness Plagg wished could remain. 

Still desperate to change Adrien's' mind he kept trying. "This isn't some magic conception. It takes two to tango."

Adrien flushed pink, pausing for the first time. "Do, Do I have to go get laid?"

Plagg snorted. "Maybe I should try to explain this again."

"You aren't changing my mind."

"I'm not trying to," he lied. Plagg walked in a small circle on the couch cushion, choosing his words carefully. "I told you that Tikki and I had to do this, to soulbond. You'll have to do the same with Ladybug."

Adrien hesitated. "How, how does that work?"

Trying to keep his words sharp Plagg kept his gaze steady. "You'll have to bond with me, a long painful process, that will make you so uncomfortable you feel lost in your own skin, and then Ladybug has to do the same. Then you have to open your soul to her, give yourself over entirely to her. And that's not to mention you have to carry the baby. This isn't some Hollywood movie where you get all cubby and feel little kicks. You are not made to carry a human child. Human boys are not supposed to be capable. Being bonded to me will change you on a deeply physical level so you can  _ deliver _ a baby."

With every word, Adrien lost evermore color until he dropped Plaggs firm gaze. 

Relief began to seep into Plagg's bones. 

"How, I mean, would I ever be the same?"

There was too much terror there. And Plagg, guilt swallowing him whole, decided to lie. "I'm sure you would. I mean, you're not the first Chat Noir to want this."

Adrien lifted his head, the glint still bright in his eyes. 

"Oh sh-" Plagg cut himself off. "Adrien. If you won't think of your comfort then just think of Ladybug. Would you make her go through that kind of pain? I thought you said you loved her?"

"How long?" Adrien asked. "How long would this soul bond last, how long would she be in pain?"

Plagg shrugged helplessly. "I don't know. If and only if we decide to bond together then she'd get a feeling, she'd know and start doing the same with Ladybug."

"And what is our bond like? I mean, it's not a soul bond like the other one is it?"

"No," Plagg began reluctantly. His lies had so far all backfired, but the truth didn't seem to be serving him much better. 

Adrien leaned forward. "Tell me. Please. I need to know."

Too eager. Plagg couldn't help giving in. It might have been the first trace of excitement he'd seen in the boy in months. 

"It's more like a kwami soul bond but instead of joining to create, it's a joining to build strength. It will be like the first time you transformed into Chat Noir, when you felt stronger, faster, more energized. But that has it's drawbacks too. You're not supposed to be so fully Chat Noir. That's why you can only stay transformed for a short period of time, only use cataclysm once before I need to recharge. I wouldn't be using my own limited energy to charge ourselves. I'd be drawing from you, using you like a battery and pushing your soul, pushing all your kwami qualities forward until they become something tangible. Ladybug will have the same thing. Once you've both gone through this your two souls, fueled and guided by myself and Tikki, latch it's… that harder to explain."

Adrien didn't press. He could tell what was Plagg holding back now. This wasn't a lie or a half-truth. This was something he really couldn't put words to. Still, he had questions. "And after the soulbond, she won't need to be a part of anything?" He asked, emotions battling in his chest. He wasn't sure what answer he'd like best. 

"No," Plagg agreed. "She won't need to. For your comfort, she may want to soulbond again. But that is more for comfort than need. And you can always say no."

Nodding again Adrien's resolve was almost visibly solidifying.

Alarmed Plagg scrambled for new reasons. "You have to know all the repercussions of this Adrien. It's not just a cute little baby. This would be biologically yours, a real live human being. you'd have to raise them alone, Ladybug can't know your identity. You'd have to give up being Chat Noir, I'd have to leave once there was a new threat. You'd never see Ladybug again, or be a hero!"

Arien hardly batted an eye. "I'm no hero. What kind of hero kills their mother and sentences their father to jail?" he asked flatly. "Why would Ladybug, whoever she is underneath her mask want me now? My father is the villain she spent years trying to stop. She wouldn't want me. And if she couldn't love me as Chat Noir then why would she love me as… this." Adrien swallowed the lump in his throat, forcing his resolve firmer. "I ruined my family, Plagg. This is a new one. And you told me once the last time you had to have another miraculous holder was decades ago. You could stay, at least for a little bit. And, and I can't have you leave me alone. I can't take it. Besides, you'd be there throughout my, um pregnancy," he tried out the word, still unsure of the whole situation. The idea of a child, terrifying as it was, thrilled him. 

"Adrien?" Plagg breathed. "You're really sure about this aren't you?"

He nodded firmly. "I want this. And you'll be there, right? At least for a little bit."

"I mean, our bond, not the soul bond but us, you'll have to be transformed the whole time."

"So you'd be gone no matter what?"

Plagg didn't think before he spoke, not quite catching the flicker of hesitation. "Well, no. We'd be bonded. You'll hear me, like a little voice in your head. But I won't  _ be  _ there."

He noticed too late how much the words had become a comfort to him. 

"Wait-"

"I'll have to start my plan as soon as possible to make sure I have everything in place." Adrien's final ounce of resolve fell into place, jaw set. "When do we have to start our bond?"

Plagg watched him a long silent moment, shoulders dropping forward. "As soon as possible. The sooner we bond the less pain you'll be in."

Adrien hopped up. "Then I better get started."

And for the first time since stepping foot in this very room only months before he felt a spark of hope, a light at the end of this tunnel. He was going to have a family again. As odd ill-gotten and oddly acquired, he was going to build a life for himself, himself, and his baby. 

Pressing a hand to his empty middle he found more comfort in that than he'd felt since held in his own mother's arms. He was going to finally make her proud.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> My gosh, this one is long. I've split it into two parts. 
> 
> If you want any questions answered, concerns for the story short run or long run, or simply want to leave a tiny comment please feel free as I answer each and every one of them!
> 
> PS, if you feel there are any tags that needed to be added please let me know!


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